I know I said that I would do a study on Wild at Heart by John Eldredge and, in due time I will, I promise. However, since then A LOT of things have happened in my life since then that shook, turned, and flipped my life and, it has left me totally broken. I'm not perfect, neither do I want to be, however I strive for it. I know the Jesus was, is, and will always be the only perfect human to have, is, and will ever walk this wonderful place called Earth. I have made mistakes, just like everyone has. I crossed lines I never should have crossed. I have stray away from the path.
Lets just start with it.....For those who do not know I moved back to Music City USA, good ol' Nashville,TN. I'll be truly honest here, I moved down to Florida for the wrong reasons. I moved down there for a girl......Yes, I moved for love and, moved in with her. Well, through the months I was down there, I paid for pretty much everything. I paid for all the times we went out for dinner, she wanted to attend a friends wedding in Mississippi, I paid for the plane ticket. She needed new tires, so guess what else I paid for.....You guessed it. Since, I was living with her, I paid for half of the utilities, on top of my own bills. So, needless to say, the money eventually ran dry, and once that happen, I was blindsided when she became upset, broke up with me and kicked me out. So, thats how I found my way back to Nashville.
Well, this experience of mine, has left me heart broken and literally broke financially, emotionally, and spiritually. Through my long trip home, I thought to myself, "How did I wind up like this?". I always thought I had a good head on my shoulders and, I did not think that anything of this sorts will ever come close to me. God, in all of his grace and glory, has his way in the end. I try to look at it in the positive light, even though the negative keeps showing its ugly head. For God to truly work in your life, you must be broken, and when I say broken, I'm not talking about chips in the armor, I'm talking about completely broken. On the floor, face down, just asking him to build you back up to what he has planned in your life. Because only a maker knows the true aspect of his creation.
Its a struggle everyday, cause I was so comfortable with her, I can truly say I was in love with her but, now I have nothing, literally nothing to show for it. However, God has his ways to comfort me enough to get over it. My community group, Stretch, had a series of services a while back, dealing with being a Christian and, single. Our group leader Wes, said, and this is a paraphrase, Our relationship with God should be so sufficient that, we really do not need any other. God, being so loving, and kind, created a man-woman relationship to show us a small picture of how his great his love is for all of us. That is something I truly struggle with, everyday, allowing God to be that sufficient. I bought into society's view of relationships. How the Guy and Girl fall in love and they complete each other. Please do not get me wrong, thats great, and one day I hope to find a godly woman that would eventually become my wife, but she will not complete me. God completes me, she will just complement me and, I her.
I just realized how long this is, and I will hopefully add some more insight to you guys later. I would like to thank you guys for reading, and allowing me to get some weight off my heart. I appreciate your time. I just hope that you guys take something from this. Be sure to comment, and what not........And as always may God bless......
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Cor 10:13
